You might be a redneck if 37

You might be a redneck if… The directions to your bathroom include, “Go past the big oak and hang a left at the woodshed.” You’re in bed with your wife and you call out a name you gave to a coon you killed. You’ve ever been arrested for where you got your girlfriend roses. Your old car is now considered the main storage unit. Every magazine on your coffee table has a piece of toilet paper for a bookmark. Charlie Daniels is your commencement speaker. After the divorce you still call your Ex “Cuz”. You have a bowling machine in your kitchen. You pick up your girfriend on a bike for the prom. The Roto-Rooter man calls for backup when visiting your house.