Women’s translations

WOMEN’S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry. We need… = I want It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want… = You’ll pay for this later. We need to talk… = I need to complain Sure…go ahead = I don’t want you to. I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron! You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = …and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper….. Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like. I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. Am I fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead. Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. In response to What’s wrong?: The same old thing = Nothing Nothing = Everything Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an idiot!