The Ducks in Heaven

Jake, Greg, and John all die and go to Heaven. When they get to Heaven’s gates, St. Peter says that Heaven is the best place ever and that they may stay there for eternity and be very happy if the just follow the one and only rule: don’t step on a duck. If you step on a duck, it starts quacking, and then they ALL start quacking, and it’s just way too much racket! Jake, Greg, and John all think that this rule is pretty strange, but they agree and go into Heaven. Then they see that everywhere there’s ducks. There were so many ducks that they had a hard time just walking around in heaven. Now Jake tried hard not to step on a duck, but he was quite clumsy, and almost immediately he stepped on a duck. It started quacking, then they all started quacking, creating a huge racket. Immediately St. Peter marched up to him and screamed “I told you not to step on a duck! Now see what you did? It started quacking, and they ALL started quacking, and it’s just too much noise!” And he chained a ferocious-looking Amazon woman onto him to stay for all eternity as punishment. Seeing this, Greg was VERY careful not to step on a duck. But, after a few weeks, he stepped on one anyway. It started quacking, then they all started quacking, and St. Peter marched up to him. “I told you not to step on a duck!” he screamed, and chained to him a horrid-looking shrew-like woman to stay for all of eternity as punishment. Now John was EXTREMELY careful not to step on a duck. Actually, he didn’t step on a duck for seven whole months! Then St. Peter came up to him and chained to him a beautiful blonde woman for all of eternity. “Wow,” said John, “I wonder what I did to deserve this!” “I don’t know about you,” the woman said, “but I stepped on a duck!”