You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever been stuck in your own driveway. You refer to your dog as the dishwasher. Your car is made out of 17 others and each part is a different color. You repair your car in the auto parts store parking lot. You can name all the characters from [...]
You might be a redneck if… You buy the lot next to your house because you need the room for all your “stuff” (cars, trucks building materials). Your idea of new siding on the house is more tar paper. The oak tree in the front yard is an essential piece of automotive repair equipment (how [...]
You might be a redneck if… You’ve run out of room on your arm from the tattoos of all wives names. You refuse to wash your truck on account that you have a strong suspicion that mud and rust is all that’s holding it together. People mistakenly come to your house thinking your having a [...]
You might be a reneck if… Your most productive fishing lure is a Dupont drifter and a dip net. City code enforcement officers use your property as a proving ground for new recruits. You think Tang is in the fruit group. You can hit a bullseye from up to 50 yards away, but still have [...]
You might be a reneck if… Your lawn mower has more horsepower than your wife’s car, but no blade. You roll your pickup truck and laugh about it. You think the blood on the front of your pickup truck looks cool. You think the blood on the back of your pickup truck looks cool. Your [...]
You might be a redneck if… Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming. There are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets. You think a turtleneck is a key ingredient in soup. You’ve ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature. Your anniversary [...]
You might be a redneck if… You take a fishing pole to Sea World. The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car. You’ve ever filled your deer tag on the golf course. You’ve ever shot somebody over a mall parking space. Santa Claus refuses to let your kids [...]
You might be a redneck if… Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels. Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor. Your birth announcement included the word “rug rat”. You’ve ever hitchhiked naked. You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle. Your bumper sticker says, “My other [...]
You might be a redneck if… Your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve. Your baby’s favorite teething ring is the garden hose in the front yard. Your coat-of-arms features kudzu. Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown. You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs. Your best ashtray is a turtle shell. [...]
You might be a redneck if… On stag night, you take a real deer. You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house. Your back porch is bigger than your house. There is more oil in your cap than in your car. You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture. A full-grown ostrich [...]
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