Subject: Chickens!!!! “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Pat Buchanan: to steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him and keep him down. The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, [...]
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a ‘tragedy’. One little boy stands up and offers ‘If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a [...]
A researcher called G. W. Bush house in Austin. G. W was sleeping in late and was awaken by the call. He was half-asleep when he answered the phone. Researcher: Excuse me, sir. I’m conducting a survey GW Bush: Questions? No political questions. Reseacher: Political, sir? GW Bush: Do you know who you are calling? [...]
“We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.” – Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97 “For NASA, space is still a high priority.” – Vice President Al Gore, 9/5/93 “Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.” – Vice President Al Gore “The Holocaust was an obscene period [...]
Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won’t. There’s one thing the Democrats and Republicans share in common: Our money. …Veni, Vedi, Clinti–I came, I saw, I lied. A little girl asked her father, “Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with ‘Once Upon A Time’?” He replied, “No, there is [...]
My four year old and I were discussing holidays, and I asked him, “What is the day which comes after Halloween when you have turkey?” My husband quickly answered, “Election day.” The American myth is that every boy can grow up to be President. The Bush reality now is that the boy doesn’t have to [...]
I have two sons who are at opposite poles on the military issue. Rick thinks the military exists “only to kill people” and says so at every chance he gets. Mike thinks the military is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and plans to make it his career. Needless to say, when they get together, [...]
According to a recent government publication … A billion seconds ago Harry Truman was president. A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ. A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth. A billion dollars ago was late yesterday at the U.S. Treasury.
I’ve heard there’s a new programming language out from University of Tennessee. It’s called Algor. There are some problems with it though. The syntax is very formal and inflexible. And it’s not a very powerful language either, since it won’t allow you to alter the operating environment. Its survival is also partially dependent upon an [...]
These future bestsellers will not only be popular to the stupid, but they will also save trees. When they come out, you can expect each of them to take up no more than half of a page. 1. Attractive leaders of the Feminist Movement 2. Clinton Policies that actually save money 3. The Logic of [...]
Daily Joke Updates Sent To Your Email
(I hate spam, too! I will never share your email address with anyone. Period. Privacy Policy