An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?” Patient: “Well, give me the bad news first.” Doctor: “You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.” Patient: “Oh no! That’s awefull! In [...]
Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news. Patient: Go with the good news first. Doctor: You have 24 hours to live. Patient: What?! How about the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.
The Hammetts were shown into the dentist’s office, where Mr. Hammett made it clear he was in a big hurry. “No expensive extras, Doctor,” he ordered. “No gas or needles or any of that fancy stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with.” “I wish more of my patients were as stoic as [...]
Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription? Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses. Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.
A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it. Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out. Patient: I wanna second opinion. Doctor: Okay, you’re ugly, too.
Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails? Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else.
Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can’t remember anything! Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem? Patient: What problem?A variationDoctor: Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory? Patient: What pills?
Doctor: You’re in good health. You’ll live to be eighty. Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now. Doctor: See, what did I tell you.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say. Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
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