OFFICE MEMO Date: 1/18/96 SPINDLER CALLS IN AIR STRIKE, DESTROYS APPLE TO SAVE IT Stock Price Increases 50% “We’ll do it better,” Says Microsoft CUPERTINO, Calif. JANUARY 18, 1996 The massive pile of smoking rubble near Interstate 280 here in Cupertino was not the result of an earthquake or natural gas explosion, as officials first [...]
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except father’s mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As father did last-minute Internet shopping. The stockings were hung next the modem with care In the hope that Santa would bring new software. The children were nestled all [...]
One of Microsoft’s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. The technician looked at his rifle, and then [...]
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
NORTH POLE (API) – MICROSOFT announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via satellite from Santa’s summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Microsoft will gain access to millions of [...]
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