Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back. Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? A: They’re both empty from [...]
You might be a redneck if… Your best coat is a black and red checkered. You put your Christmas lights up 2 weeks after taking them down. You consider duct tape and tarp straps necessities for auto body repair. You raise the confederate flag in the bed of your truck whenever you go for a [...]
If you’re ever stuck in some thick undergrowth, in your underwear, don’t stop and think of what other words have ‘under’ in them, because that’s probably the first sign of jungle madness. Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw back my head and gargle. Just gargle and gargle, [...]
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side? A: An interpreter. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a [...]
Too bad there’s not such a thing as a golden skunk, because you’d probably be proud to be sprayed by one. To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And, at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between, plus some things I can’t remember, all rolled into [...]
Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar. Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? A: An Air Bag. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block. Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? [...]
Martha says the interesting thing about fly fishing is that it’s two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Martha. Grow up. The old pool shooter has won many a game in his life. But now it was time to hang up the cue. When he did all the other cues came crashing to [...]
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up! Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: [...]
You might be a redneck if… Taking a dip has nothing to do with water. There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog. You take a fishing pole to Sea World. The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car. You’ve ever filled your deer tag [...]
It you’re a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it’s real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you. Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on [...]
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