“Good crowd…good crowd. I’m telling you I could use a good crowd. I’m ok now but last week I was in rough shape… Why? I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” “I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great Uncle fought for the west!” “My [...]
You might be a reneck if… You live close enough to town to get garbage service, but don’t use it because they won’t come down your driveway to get it. The fellows on the big garbage moving equipment recoginze your wife…. and wave to her. Your wife picks thru your garbage cans looking for any [...]
Instead of having ‘answers’ on a math test, they should just call them ‘impressions’ and it you got a different ‘impression’ so what, can’t we all be brothers? Probably to a shark about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because where does he think he’s going?! Perhaps, [...]
Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. Q: Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? A: Perri-air. Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck [...]
You might be a reneck if… The neighborhood dogs are afraid to come around your house because the fowl are big enough to hurt them. You have ever had to climb up on the roof of an out building to get down any fowl that was frozen to the roof. You have ever worried more [...]
It’s not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume inside and the kid could put it on and really scare you. I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire [...]
Q: What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement? A: A whine cellar. Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad? A: Your honor. Q: What do you call a judge gone bad? A: Senator. Q: Have you heard about the lawyers? word processor? A: No matter what font you [...]
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A: So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills. Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A: She saw “911″ on the back and thought it was a Porsche. Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? A: To see [...]
You might be a reneck if… The make, model, and license plate number of your truck are obscured by a layer of mud. You have got more bumper stickers than children. Your wife has ever taken two pairs of shoes to a funeral: one pair to trudge thru the wet Georgia red clay between the [...]
If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted. We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me. I [...]
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