Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Eye Drops off Shelf Teacher Strikes Idle Kids British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash [...]
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees Farmer Bill Dies in House Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Lung Cancer in [...]
Murphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and oil fields. Murphy said, “Where are we now?” The guide said, “We’re in the great state of Texas.” “It’s a big place,” said Murphy. The [...]
Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Can you be a closet claustrophobic? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink? If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? Why is the word abbreviation [...]
What are the three questions most commonly asked by lawyers? 1. How much money do you have? 2. Where can you get more? 3. Do you have anything you can sell? Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? A: Only three. The balance are documented case histories. There’s an interesting new novel about two ex-convicts. [...]
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guiness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman, carefully lifts the fly up by its wings and screams, [...]
…can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. …are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. …do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. …do people order double cheeseburgers, [...]
You might be a reneck if… Your most productive fishing lure is a Dupont drifter and a dip net. City code enforcement officers use your property as a proving ground for new recruits. You think Tang is in the fruit group. You can hit a bullseye from up to 50 yards away, but still have [...]
“I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.” “I remember the time I was kidnaped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.” “My uncle’s dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the [...]
You might be a reneck if… Your lawn mower has more horsepower than your wife’s car, but no blade. You roll your pickup truck and laugh about it. You think the blood on the front of your pickup truck looks cool. You think the blood on the back of your pickup truck looks cool. Your [...]
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