A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began to read. After a [...]
Pat and Mike were walking down the street, when they came to the church, Pat says, ‘Mike, you wait here, I’m going to run in for confession, it’s been a long time’. Pat enters the confessional and says,’ Father forgive me, I have sinned with a married woman’. The priest asks, ‘was it Mrs Murphy’? [...]
A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of [...]
“Good Day Mrs. Smith. I just thought I would drop by and see how your are doing.” The woman says, “Oh just fine Father, come on in and we’ll have some tea.” While sitting at the coffee table, the priest notices a bowl of almonds on the table. “Mind if I have one?” the priest [...]
A young attorney who had taken over his father’s practice rushed home elated one night. “Dad, listen,” he shouted, “I’ve finally settled that old McKinney suit.” “Settled it!” cried his astonished father. “Why, you idiot! We have been living off of that money for five years!”
To The Tune Of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town Oh you better not shout, you better not cry, You better not pout, I’m tellin’ you why, Daddy’s home and I think he’s drunk. He’s walkin’ real slow, he slurs when he speaks, I don’t even think he’s shaved in two weeks, Daddy’s home and [...]
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, “I’ve found a man just like father!” Her mother replied, “So what do you want from me, sympathy?“
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