Tag Archives: drunk

Finding The Car

February 22, 2010 – 10:31 am

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out ofthe bar and stops the guy. ‘What the heck are you doing ?’ he asks the drunk. ‘I’m looking for my car, and I can’t find it.’ he replies. ‘So [...]

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Stages of Drunkeness

February 10, 2010 – 9:30 am

0 – Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet. 1 – Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being. 2 – Lager warming up head. Pretzles are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse. 3 – Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and [...]

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Sotally Tober

January 7, 2010 – 10:23 am

Starkle starkle little twink who the hell you are I think I’m not under what you call the alcofluence of incohol I’m just a little slort of sheep I’m not drunk like tinkle peep I don’t know who is me yet but the drunker I stand here the longer I get Just give me one [...]

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Your father is drunk

November 27, 2009 – 11:05 am

To The Tune Of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town Oh you better not shout, you better not cry, You better not pout, I’m tellin’ you why, Daddy’s home and I think he’s drunk. He’s walkin’ real slow, he slurs when he speaks, I don’t even think he’s shaved in two weeks, Daddy’s home and [...]

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I Thought You Were My Wife

November 24, 2009 – 6:00 am

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my [...]

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Selling the Wife

November 12, 2009 – 6:00 am

A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what happened. “I did a terrible thing,” sniffed the drunk, “Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of Southern Comfort.” “That is awful,” said the other guy, “And now that she [...]

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Aren’t you glad I’m a Drunk?

September 17, 2009 – 7:00 am

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.” Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?” “Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. [...]

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Trick Your Wife With 20 dollars

September 7, 2009 – 11:10 am

Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. He says “Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me“. His friend says “Don’t worry. Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you [...]

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A Long Night

August 5, 2009 – 6:00 am

A drunk phoned the local police department to report that thieves had been in his car. “They have stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time, and the same voice came over the line. “Never [...]

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Passionate Police Officers

May 7, 2009 – 6:30 am

Two police officers saw an old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the [...]

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Tag Archives: drunk

Finding The Car

Stages of Drunkeness

Sotally Tober

Your father is drunk

I Thought You Were My Wife

Selling the Wife

Aren’t you glad I’m a Drunk?

Trick Your Wife With 20 dollars

A Long Night

Passionate Police Officers

My Goldfish Died :(

Yo Mamma so stupid

Nuns Confessional

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road – Reviewed

You might be a redneck if 71

News headlines 02

Curing a Cough

Offer legal advice

Send It To The City

Anniversary

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