From “Machine Design” Magazine. …..Byte Bat All too often, computers aren’t up when you need them, or some sort of system error costs you a lot of time and effort. Hitting a computer or terminal with anything substantial can be satisfying, but expensive. That’s where the Byte Bat comes in. It is a foam rubber [...]
DOS Beer — Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. [...]
If IBM ran Christmas… They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for their present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36 hours of mainframe processing time. If Microsoft ran Christmas… Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well. You wouldn’t have to take [...]
ADA: A Dumb Arrangement ADA: A Dumb Acronym ADA: A Dumb Annoyance BASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic Coders BASIC: Badly Assembled, Severely Illogical Code BASIC: Beginner’s Algorithms for Seemingly Infinite Confusion C: Crud C: Confusing COBOL: Completly Outdated, Badly Overused Language COBOL: Completly Overused, Badly Outdated Language COBOL: Cowards Only Buy Outdated Languages COBOL: Cowards [...]
1. Thou shalt run lint frequently and study its pronouncements with care, for verily its perception and judgement oft exceed thine. 2. Thou shalt not follow the NULL pointer, for chaos and madness await thee at its end. 3. Thou shalt cast all function arguments to the expected type if they are not of that [...]
The top six reasons computers must be female: 6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner. 5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic. 4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. 3. The native language used to communicate with other [...]
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