Backup – What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods. Bar code – Them’s the fight’n rules down da local tavern. Bug – The reason you is a giv’n for calling in sick. Byte – What yer pit bull dun to cusin Jethro. Cache – Needed when you go to da store. [...]
Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time. Patron: No, it’s still there. Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it [...]
An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano! Memory was something that you lost with age A CD was a bank account! And if you had a broken disk, It would hurt when you found out! Compress was something you did to garbage [...]
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft’s rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged [...]
Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some respect. He’d become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions. Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work [...]
You kiss your girlfriend’s home page. A VRML virtual walk through a park is your idea of a good date. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8…ISDN…cable [...]
10. Lower corner of screen has the words “Etch-a-sketch” on it. 9. It’s celebrity spokesman is that “Hey Vern!” guy. 8. In order to start it, you need some jumper cables and a friend’s car. 7. It’s slogan is “Pentium: redefining mathematics”. 6. The “quick reference” manual is 120 pages long. 5. Whenever you turn [...]
Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every [...]
Computer novices may feel like they’re alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBM’s help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway. After a caller gave a technician her PC’s serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, “I [...]
99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 101 little bugs in the code. 101 little bugs in the code, 101 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 103 little bugs in the code.
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