Tired of his low approval ratings, President Clinton called up the head of the CIA and said, “I want your very best agent over here first thing in the morning.” Moments later, a call went out to the Middle East, and the most gifted American agent was headed back to Washington. The next morning, the [...]
President Clinton, speaking in private with his advisor on public favor, told him that the planned invasion of Haiti will be the most unpopular thing that he has ever done as the President of the United States. “Actually, sir, according to our research, the most unpopular thing you’ve ever done was to be inaugurated as [...]
The May Day parade in Moscow is the largest, most important military parade of the year. For 1992′s parade, Yeltsin and Gorbachev invited Bill Clinton to come watch it with them. The parade commenced with a battalion of tanks, followed by a division of infantry, followed by armored personnel carriers and mobile artillery. They had [...]
President Clinton is shaking hands with the voters after being elected for the second time. “Pleased to meet you,” says one old man, “I’ve heard a lot about you in the past few years.” Clinton laughs: “You can’t prove any of it!”
The Clinton Health Plan has the: 1. Simplicity of the IRS. 2. Results of rent control. 3. Efficiency of the Post Office. 4. The fringe benefits of higher taxes 5. Management success of national debt. 6. Bureaucracy of the Dept. of Agriculture. 7. Dependency of a weather forecaster.
Before his infamous haircut on the tarmac, Clinton asked his stylist Christophe, “How long will this take, how much will it cost, and how good will this look?” Christophe replied just ten minutes, cost $20, and look marvelous. An hour and fifteen minutes later, Clinton looked into the mirror in horror and Christophe handed him [...]
Clinton is on the beach at Martha’s Vinyard and finds that an old bottle has washed ashore. When the Prez opens it a very wan Genie snakes out. Genie: Hi Bill. I’m a very weak genie, so I can only grant you one wish–it had better be easy if you want me to do it. [...]
Candidate Bill Clinton: Cut taxes for middle class President Bill Clinton: Wants to raise them Candidate Bill Clinton: Vowed not to tamper with Social Security President Bill Clinton: Wants to tax more SS benefits Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed energy tax cuts President Bill Clinton: Wants energy tax increases Candidate Bill Clinton: Claimed he had the [...]
At a recent interview, it seems that Bill Clinton broke out in rage after being asked a line of questions about him being controlled. Interviewer: “Who pulls your strings, Bill? What special interests control you?” Clinton (visibly upset): “You leave Hillary out of this!“
It’s still the economy. And he’s still stupid. Clinton and Gore, Gone in four! Honk if Bill Clinton says you’re rich! Bumper sticker on Arkansan car: If you can read this You’re not from here Impeach Clinton! And her husband, too!
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