After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. “That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. “Thats [...]
A little boy just got a brand new bike for Christmas and was riding down it down the street. He stopped at a red light next to a Police Officer on a horse. The Police Officer asked the boy “Did Santa bring you that new bike?” the boy replied “Yes!” “It looks like Santa forgot [...]
Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the substation, Not a deputy stirred, they were all on vacation. The stockings were hung on the wall with great care, Next to some T-shirts and old underwear. I was working the night shift compiling stats, Answering the phone, and feeding the rat. When all of a sudden [...]
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there. While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps had just settled down to sugar-borne naps. [...]
Ten signs you’re not getting a christmas bonus 10. Co-workers refer to you as “the ghost of unemployment future” 9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial 8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips 7. What you call “my new [...]
8. Kid’s letter to north pole comes back stamped, “Dream on, Chester!” 7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes 6. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling. 5. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing. 4. Christmas day, your kid [...]
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues! Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck! What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday ? Freeze a jolly good fellow ! What do you call a man who claps [...]
Knock Knock Who’s there ? Wenceslas Wenceslas who ? Wenceslas train home ? Knock Knock Who’s there ? Snow Snow who ? Snow business like show business ! Knock Knock Who’s there ? Wayne Wayne who ? Wayne in a manger… ! Knock Knock Who’s there ? Donut Donut who ? Donut open till Christmas [...]
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke ? This one will sleigh you ! Why is a reindeer like a gossip ? Because they are both tail bearers ! Why do reindeer wear fur coats ? Because they would look silly in plastic macs ! How do you make a slow reindeer fast [...]
If IBM ran Christmas… They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for their present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36 hours of mainframe processing time. If Microsoft ran Christmas… Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well. You wouldn’t have to take [...]
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