Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you doing there, Nancy?” “My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbour was very concerned. “That’s [...]
A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them ‘How do you like it so far?’ The mouse replied ‘It’s great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?’ God said ‘Sure’, and he gave him a pair [...]
A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The [...]
Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people — such as getting lots of table scraps — most [...]
Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change [...]
INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL 1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill [...]
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: “What does the cow say?” Child: “Moo!” Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?” Child: “Meow.” Mother: “Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?” And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her [...]
This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service center. One particular customer had an old console-type machine with a print head that would ride back and forth on a spiral shaft. They also had a big bushy cat who liked to sit on the edge of the printer next [...]
Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness. Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty. Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something. Human being: Automatic door opener for cats. Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines. Purrson: A male kitty. Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness. The first says, “I’m so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!” The second says, “Well I’m so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!” Then the third rat gets up [...]
Daily Joke Updates Sent To Your Email
(I hate spam, too! I will never share your email address with anyone. Period. Privacy Policy