A guy goes into a bar and seats himself next to a hot looking woman. After a few drinks he musters the courage to talk to her. After a few more drinks and a little conversation he leans over to the woman and asks, “Can I smell your Pussy?” The woman is outraged and answers [...]
A guy in a bar stands up and says, “All lawyers are assholes.” Another guy stands up and says “Hey…I resent that…” The first guy says, “Why? Are you a lawyer?” The second guy says, “No. I’m an asshole.”
A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes and orders yet another one. This goes on for at least an hour and a [...]
A drunk walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.” So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the bill. The drunk says, “I haven’t got it.” The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him [...]
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?” The man says, “Set me up with five whiskey shots, and make ‘em doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and [...]
A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them. When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had learned to use sign language. The bartender explained that these were regular customers [...]
A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink, and he said “No thanks, I don’t drink, I tried it once but I didn`t like it!” So the bartender said, “Well would you like a cigarette,” but the [...]
A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out ofthe bar and stops the guy. ‘What the heck are you doing ?’ he asks the drunk. ‘I’m looking for my car, and I can’t find it.’ he replies. ‘So [...]
0 – Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet. 1 – Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being. 2 – Lager warming up head. Pretzles are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse. 3 – Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and [...]
Starkle starkle little twink who the hell you are I think I’m not under what you call the alcofluence of incohol I’m just a little slort of sheep I’m not drunk like tinkle peep I don’t know who is me yet but the drunker I stand here the longer I get Just give me one [...]
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