Daily Joke Blog » american

3 men in Saudi

Wed, 29 Dec 2010 13:57:08 +0000

An American, a Dutchman and a Frenchman are in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. Then Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia. For the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished. The extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each with a whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: “It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.” The Dutchman was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: “Please tie a pillow to my back.” This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain. The Frenchman was next up. After watching the Dutchman in horror he said smugly: “Please fix two pillows to my back.” But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Frenchman was soon led away whimpering loudly. The American was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: “You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!” “Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness,” the American replied. “In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.” “Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave.” The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. “If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?” the Sheikh asked. The American replied: “Tie the Frenchman to my back.”

3 men in Saudi is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Fujifoo!

Mon, 18 Oct 2010 15:20:46 +0000

An American businessman was in Japan. He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her. She kept screaming “Fujifoo, Fugifoo!!!”, which the guy took to be pleasurable.. The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a hole-in-one. Wanting to impress the clients, he said “Fujifoo”. The Japanese clients looked confused and said “No, you got the right hole.”

Fujifoo! is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Flags tell us information about our taxes

Thu, 17 Jun 2010 16:10:21 +0000

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. “Our flag symbolizes our taxes,” he said. “We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them.” “That’s the same with us,” the American said, “only we see stars, too.”

Flags tell us information about our taxes is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Methods of execution

Fri, 21 May 2010 14:48:36 +0000

There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed. The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that night, that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die. Their choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging. The American was afraid of needles and did’nt want to be hanged. The American chose the electric chair. He sat in the chair and they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happens a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free. The guy from Toronto was also afraid of needles and did’nt want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair. Once again, the chair didn’t work and he was free. Next it was the Newfoundlanders turn to pick how he was to be executed. He said “I’m afraid of needles, the electric chair won’t work so you’re going to have to hang me”.

Methods of execution is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Throwing away garbage

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:20:35 +0000

An American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from his recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn’t find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there. Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer, who said, “Hey you, what are you doing?” “I have to throw this away,” replied the tourist. “You can’t throw it away here. Look, follow me,” the policeman offered. The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. “Here,” said the cop, “dump all the garbage you want.” The American shrugs, opens up the large bags of garbage, and dumps them right on the flowers. “Thanks for giving me a place to dump this stuff. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?” asked the tourist. “No. This is the American Embassy.”

Throwing away garbage is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Discussing the tax rates

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:55:45 +0000

Discussing the tax rates is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Too Many

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 16:29:41 +0000

So once there was an Chinese man, A mexican, and an american all in the same plane. Now the chinese man Takes a pair of chopstickes and throws them out of the window. Then he claims “We have too many of those in my country!”. Then the mexican grabs his salsa, throws it out the window and says “We have to many of these in my country!”. Then the american picks up the mexican and throws him out of the window and claims “We have to many of these in my country!”.

Too Many is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

What’s on your back?

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 15:34:40 +0000

Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, “What do you want on your back for your whipping?” The German responds, “I will take oil!” So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, “What do you want on your back?” “I will take nothing!” says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. “What will you take on your back?” the Amazons ask the American. He responds, “I’ll take the Mexican.”

What’s on your back? is a post from: Daily Joke Blog