Steven Wright 22

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree. I had a dream that all the victims of The Pill came back… Boy, were they mad! The Stones, I love the Stones.  I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney… I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I’m in a submarine that’s been hit. It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is, it’s always room temperature. I have two very rare photographs.  One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car.  The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child. I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading.  So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo.  He got pretty good.  He could go under a rug. I filled out an application that said, “In Case Of Emergency Notify”.  I wrote “Doctor”…  What’s my mother going to do?