Steven Wright 04

It’s a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they’d just stay right up there.  Hunters would be all confused. When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction. I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money.  They said, “What for?” I said, “I’m going to buy some sugar.” I saw a bank that said “24 Hour Banking“, but I don’t have that much time. I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums. I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings . . . Boy With Pail . . . Kitten On Fire. One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by children.  They had all the paintings up on refrigerators. Last time I went to the movies I was thrown out for bringing my own food.  My argument was that the concession stand prices are outrageous.  Besides, I haven’t had a Bar-B-Que in a long time. One time I went to a drive-in in a taxi cab.  The movie cost me $95.