Robert Schmidt 07

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. I went to a fancy French restaurant called “Deja Vu.” The headwaiter said, “Don’t I know you?” Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle. I got a calculator and now I can’t add without it. I got a spellchecker and I can’t write without it anymore. I got a blowdryer and now my hair won’t dry on its own. Get a bunch of those 3-D glasses and wear them at the same time. Use enough to get it up to a good, say, 10 or 12-D. I heard that in relativity theory space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings. Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant. I said, “I’ll be the one in the leather jacket.” She said, “I’ll be the one drinking sake.” Turned out it was one of those biker-sushi places. We never met. Wrote my own communications software in LISP. Got a phone bill for a thousand dollars. My computer keeps calling itself.