Question and answer jokes

Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice. Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start! Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving. Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog. Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy. Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand. Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? A: To practice. A command was given to a dog: “SPEAK!” The dog said in return: “Not without my lawyer present!” Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop? A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers. Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.? A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland. Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.