- Free drinks.
- Free dinners.
- Free movies.
- Speeding ticket? What’s that?
- New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
- If you have to be home in time for Melrose Place, you can say so, out loud.
- If you’re not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling.
- You can sleep your way to the top.
- You can sue the President for sexual harassment.
- It’s possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.
- No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.
- Brad Pitt.
- No one passes out when you take off your shoes.
- Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.
- If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
- If you’re dumb, some people will find it cute.
- You have the ability to dress yourself.
- If you marry someone twenty years younger, you’re aware that you look like an idiot.
- You’ll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.
- You can quickly end any fight by crying.
- Your friends won’t think you’re weird if you ask whether there’s spinach in your teeth.
- There are times when chocolate really Can solve all your problems.
- You’ve never had a goatee.
- You’ll never regret piercing your ears.
- You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
- You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
- You get to hate Kathie Lee in the way only another woman truly can.
