Daily Joke Blog

The Computer Funnies

Mon, 18 Apr 2011 13:00:09 +0000

• My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. - She sells C Shells by the seashore. Q: What does a proud computer call his little son? A: A microchip off the old block. Q: What happens if you cross a midget and a computer? A: You get a short circuit.The Computer Funnies is a [...]

The Computer Funnies is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Supermarket Stupid Mamma

Fri, 15 Apr 2011 13:00:07 +0000

Yo Mamma so stupid, she got locked in a supermarket and starved to death!!!Supermarket Stupid Mamma is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Supermarket Stupid Mamma is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Two Nuns Smoking A Cigarette

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 13:00:49 +0000

Two Nuns were in the back of the convent smoking a cigarette, when one said, ‘It’s bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the butts so that Mother Superior doesn’t find them.’ The second Nun said, ‘I’ve found a marvelous invention called a condom which works really well for this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all later.’ The first Nun was quite impressed and asked where she could find them. ‘You get them at a chemist, sister. Just go and ask the pharmacist for them.’ The next day the good Sister went to the chemist and walked up to the counter. ‘Good morning, Sister,’ the chemist said, ‘what can I do for you today?’ ‘I’d like some condoms please,’ said the nun. The chemist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked, ‘How many boxes would you like? There are 12 to a box.’ ‘I’ll take six boxes. That should last about a week,’ said the Nun. The pharmacist was truly flabbergasted by this time and was almost afraid to ask any more questions. But his professionalism prevailed and he asked in a clear voice. ‘Sister, what size condoms would you like? We have large, extra-large, and the big liar size.’ The Sister thought for a minute and finally said: ‘I’m not certain, perhaps you could recommend a good size for a Camel?’

Two Nuns Smoking A Cigarette is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

You might be a redneck if 72

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 13:00:14 +0000

You might be a redneck if…

You can identify your friends by the sound of their muffler.
You think OFF is a fine smelling cologne.
You put a Clapper on your headlights.
You need a dictionary to spell your name.
You don’t change your socks until the first pair rots off.
People ask your wife when her baby’s due and she’s not pregnant.
Your driveway is two tire tracks with grass growing down the middle.
You’ve ever invited friends over to show off what’s left of the squirrel that you shot with your deer gun.
You have more tires in your yard than on your trucks.
The idea for the Budweiser frogs came from listening to you and your friends trying to read the label on the bottle.

You might be a redneck if 72 is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Theres a smart blonde, tooth fairy, honest politician, and a leprechaun.

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 13:00:55 +0000

Theres a smart blonde, tooth fairy, honest politician, and a leprechaun. They all spot a $100 bill. Who gets it? No one they are all imaginary creatures.Theres a smart blonde, tooth fairy, honest politician, and a leprechaun. is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Theres a smart blonde, tooth fairy, honest politician, and a leprechaun. is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Would you like to dance fatty?

Mon, 11 Apr 2011 13:00:25 +0000

A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, “Would you like to dance?” The girl says, “I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you.” The guy says, “I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you sure look fat in those pants.“

Would you like to dance fatty? is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

My Goldfish Died :(

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 21:56:07 +0000

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you doing there, Nancy?” “My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbour was very concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your cat.”

My Goldfish Died :( is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Yo Mamma so stupid

Thu, 31 Mar 2011 18:26:34 +0000

Yo mamma so stupid, she uses coupons at the 99 cent store.Yo Mamma so stupid is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Yo Mamma so stupid is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Nuns Confessional

Thu, 31 Mar 2011 17:00:00 +0000

Four nuns are standing in line for confession. The first nun goes into the confessional and says bless me father for I have sinned I touched a man’s private parts. The priest asks, “What part of your body did you use?” The nun replies, “My right hand.” The priest tells her to dip her right hand in holy water say 10 hail Mary’s and all will be forgiven. The second nun goes into the confessional and says, “Bless me father for I have sinned I touched a mans private parts.” The priest asks, “What part of your body did you use?” The nun replies, “My left hand.” The priest tells her to dip her left hand in the holy water say 10 hail Mary’s and all will be forgiven. Well, this leaves the third and fourth nun standing in line. The fourth nun taps the third nun on the shoulder and asks, “Would you mind if I went first?” The third nun says, “Sure I don’t care, but would mind telling me why?” The fourth nun replies, “Well, I would like to drink the water before you have to sit in it!”

Nuns Confessional is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road – Reviewed

Wed, 30 Mar 2011 20:17:45 +0000

Subject: Chickens!!!! “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Pat Buchanan: to steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him and keep him down. The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. Colonel Sanders: “I missed one?” L.A. Police Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we’ll find out. Bill Clinton: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don’t know any chickens. I have never known any chickens. Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes!, the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I’ve not been told! Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain. Martin Luther King Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. Grandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability. Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. Ronald Reagan: What chicken? Bill Clinton (again): I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York. Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Fox Mulder: You saw it cross with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was. Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. Bill Gates: I have just released “Chicken Coop 98″, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system. Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? Bill Clinton (also, again): Define “cross.”

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road – Reviewed is a post from: Daily Joke Blog