Computer lingo guide

Monitor – Keep an eye on the wood stove Megahertz – When a big log drops on your bare foot in the morning Floppy disk – What you get from piling too much wood into your wood stove Ram – The hydraulic machine that makes the woodsplitter work Drive – Getting home during most of the winter to your wood stove Hard drive – Trying to get home during a heavy snow storm Prompt – What you wish the mail was during the snow season Enter – Come on in Windows – What you must shut when the temperature hits 10 below Screen – What is a must during black fly season Chip – What you munch during a football games Microchip – What’s left in the bag when the normal chips are gone Modem – What you did to your fields last July Dot Matrix – Eino Matrix’s wife Laptop – Where the grandkids sit Keyboard – Where you’re supposed to put the keys so the wife can find them Software – Plastic picnic utensils Mouse – What leaves those little turds in the cupboard Mainframe – The part of the house that holds up the roof Port – Where the commercial fishing boats dock Random Access Memory – When you can’t remember how much you spent on the new deer rifle when wife asks about it