You might be a redneck if… You list your parole officer as a reference. There are more fish on your wall than pictures. Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming. There are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets. You think a turtleneck is a key ingredient in soup. [...]
You might be a redneck if… Taking a dip has nothing to do with water. There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog. You take a fishing pole to Sea World. The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car. You’ve ever filled your deer tag [...]
You might be a redneck if… You think cur is a breed of dog. People hear your car long before they see it. Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA. Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids. Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels. Your wife has ever [...]
You might be a redneck if… You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother’s tooth. You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. Your secret family recipe is illegal. Your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve. Your baby’s favorite teething ring is the garden hose in the yard. Your coat-of-arms features [...]
You might be a redneck if… You have every episode of “Hee Haw” on tape. Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than grandpa. Your masseuse uses lard. Your wife’s best shoes have steel toes. You use your fishing license as a form of I.D. On stag night, you take a real deer. Your [...]
You might be a redneck if… On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor. Your parakeet knows the phrase “Open up, Police!” You saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting. In tough situations you ask yourself, “What would Curly do?” Taking your [...]
You might be a redneck if… Your insurance man is a redneck too if he pays you for it. You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. You’ve ever hit a deer with your car…deliberately. You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub. Your momma gives [...]
You might be a redneck if… You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something. When a sign that says “Say No To Crack!” reminds you to pull up your jeans. Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town. Getting a package from your post office requires a [...]
You might be a redneck if… Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job–primer red and primer gray. The tobacco chewers in your family aren’t just men. Your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire…on her house The ASPCA raids your kitchen. You have to check in the bottom of your [...]
You might be a redneck if… You have an Elvis Jell-o mold. You have the taxidermist’s number on speed-dial. You own more cowboy boots than sneakers. You’ve been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars. You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. You just bought [...]
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