Nearly everything has changed in the United States since the Bill of Rights was written and adopted. We still see the original words when we read those first 10 Amendments to the Constitution, yet the meaning is vastly different now. And no wonder. We’ve gone from a country of a few million to a few [...]
1. Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. 2. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out. 3. Republicans usually wear hats and always clean their paint brushes. 4. Democrats give their worn-out [...]
In an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story [...]
Health care costs are rising uncontrollably across the world. In America, taxes have been on the rise just to pay for them. In England, they have begun rationing health care services and in some cases they have waiting lists for services just to reduce costs even more. In fact, they now have a nine month [...]
President Clinton, speaking in private with his advisor on public favor, told him that the planned invasion of Haiti will be the most unpopular thing that he has ever done as the President of the United States. “Actually, sir, according to our research, the most unpopular thing you’ve ever done was to be inaugurated as [...]
Bill Clinton has just had a major new policy decision that he thinks is going to “save” America. He decides to talk it over with Senator Dole. Dole says, “Well Bill, the Republicans aren’t to sure about this. Why do you go back to the White House and write a 20,000 word essay on your [...]
A man dies, and he’s looking in the gates of hell. There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why John Kennedy is with this hideous looking person. The Devil replies, “Well, John has done some bad things in his life and that’s his punishment.” [...]
After agonizing for several days over the situation in former Yugoslavia where ethnic Serbs, Bosnians, and Muslims are engaged in a fierce and bloody civil war, President Clinton today announced that he is strongly in favor of diversity.
Bill Clinton is walking a dog around the White House lawn early one morning. He walks it past the guard’s post, and the marine says “Mr. President, is that a new dog?” Clinton smiles, and replies, “Why yes, I got it for my wife.” The marine looks at the the dog, looks up with a [...]
The Secret Service has been worried by Bill Clinton’s practice of taking early morning jogs. They got a real scare the other day when somebody threw a beer at the president. Fortunately, it turned out to have been a draft, and Clinton was able to dodge it.
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