My four year old and I were discussing holidays, and I asked him, “What is the day which comes after Halloween when you have turkey?” My husband quickly answered, “Election day.” The American myth is that every boy can grow up to be President. The Bush reality now is that the boy doesn’t have to [...]
I have two sons who are at opposite poles on the military issue. Rick thinks the military exists “only to kill people” and says so at every chance he gets. Mike thinks the military is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and plans to make it his career. Needless to say, when they get together, [...]
According to a recent government publication … A billion seconds ago Harry Truman was president. A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ. A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth. A billion dollars ago was late yesterday at the U.S. Treasury.
Supposedly G.B. Shaw once sent Winston Churchill some tickets for the first night of one of his plays. Churchill then sent Shaw a telegram to the effect: “Cannot come first night. Will come second night if you have one.” Shaw promptly replied: “Here are two tickets for the second night. Bring a friend if you [...]
The difference between Republicans & Democrats A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to [...]
I’ve heard there’s a new programming language out from University of Tennessee. It’s called Algor. There are some problems with it though. The syntax is very formal and inflexible. And it’s not a very powerful language either, since it won’t allow you to alter the operating environment. Its survival is also partially dependent upon an [...]
The Court of King George III London, England July 10, 1776 Mr. Thomas Jefferson c/o The Continental Congress Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Dear Mr. Jefferson, We have read your “Declaration of Independence” with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole fails [...]
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. “Our flag symbolizes our taxes,” he said. “We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them.” “That’s the same [...]
Recent confusion about the meaning of the abbreviation BTU has lead to the creation of set definitions that may be used when discussing its meaning. 1. Big Time Unemployment 2. Buy Thermal Underwear 3. Bill’s Tax Utopia 4. Being Totally Unfair
If a communist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government sells him some of the milk. If a Socialist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government gives him some of the milk. If a Nazi has two cows, the government shoots him, and takes both [...]
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