A researcher called G. W. Bush house in Austin. G. W was sleeping in late and was awaken by the call. He was half-asleep when he answered the phone. Researcher: Excuse me, sir. I’m conducting a survey GW Bush: Questions? No political questions. Reseacher: Political, sir? GW Bush: Do you know who you are calling? [...]
Difference Between a Bad *President* and a Bad *Precedent* … BAD *PRECEDENT: Tipper: “How does it feel to be the big man, Hon?” Al: “Well Tip, it took 17 lawsuits and 18 months of election recounts, but I’d do it all again.” … BAD *PRESIDENT: Mr. Bush, repeat after me. I do solemnly swear – [...]
Bush and His Running Mate Now that it seems almost a certainty that George W. Bush will become the Republican nominee for President, attention will soon focus upon whom Governor Bush will pick for his Vice Presidential running mate. It is rumored that one of the names on the ‘short list’ currently being floated in [...]
Top George Bush Slogans I’ll turn capital punishment into a new game show! I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time. I’ll finish what Bill started — the interns. Like father, like son. You liked my dad, right? Vote for the GOP, Not OPP. I promise no sex scandal: just [...]
BUSH LEGAL TEAM SUES SANTA CLAUS By S. Artist Reuters AUSTIN, TX (Dec. 4) – Attorneys for Texas Governor George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the [...]
Tired of his low approval ratings, President Clinton called up the head of the CIA and said, “I want your very best agent over here first thing in the morning.” Moments later, a call went out to the Middle East, and the most gifted American agent was headed back to Washington. The next morning, the [...]
“I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat.” – Vice President Al Gore “A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.” – Vice President Al Gore “Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.” – Vice President Al Gore, 5/20/996 “Democrats [...]
“We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.” – Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97 “For NASA, space is still a high priority.” – Vice President Al Gore, 9/5/93 “Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.” – Vice President Al Gore “The Holocaust was an obscene period [...]
A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center’s director that he was an acceptable candidate. “That’s [...]
Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won’t. There’s one thing the Democrats and Republicans share in common: Our money. …Veni, Vedi, Clinti–I came, I saw, I lied. A little girl asked her father, “Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with ‘Once Upon A Time’?” He replied, “No, there is [...]
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