A guy walks into his doctor’s office and says, “Ddddoc, I’ve bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III’m tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp mmme???” The doc says, “Well, I’ll have to examine you first before I can answer you.” The doc examines him and says, “Well, I’m pretty sure that I know what the problem [...]
A dentist ran out of anaesthetic just before the last extraction for the day was scheduled. He gave the nurse a very large needle, instructing her to jab it hard into the patient’s butt when the signal was given, so it would take his attention away from the tooth extraction. It all happened in an [...]
What doctors say, and what they’re really thinking: “This should be taken care of right away.” I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. “Welllllll, what have we here…?” He has no idea and is hoping you’ll give [...]
“Good Day Mrs. Smith. I just thought I would drop by and see how your are doing.” The woman says, “Oh just fine Father, come on in and we’ll have some tea.” While sitting at the coffee table, the priest notices a bowl of almonds on the table. “Mind if I have one?” the priest [...]
The Hammetts were shown into the dentist’s office, where Mr. Hammett made it clear he was in a big hurry. “No expensive extras, Doctor,” he ordered. “No gas or needles or any of that fancy stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with.” “I wish more of my patients were as stoic as [...]
A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help. Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay, sir, you’re an ambulance!
Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription? Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses. Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.
A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it. Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out. Patient: I wanna second opinion. Doctor: Okay, you’re ugly, too.
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