Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor, “You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can.” After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked where [...]
One day in Contract Law class, Professor Jepson asked one of his better students, “Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?” The student replied, “Here’s an orange.” The professor was livid. “No! No! Think like a lawyer!” The student then recited, “Okay, I’d tell him, ‘I hereby [...]
Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. “You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?” The client replied that he did. Then lawyer then asked, “Do you know what will happen if you don’t tell the truth?” The client looked back and said, “I [...]
What are the three questions most commonly asked by lawyers? 1. How much money do you have? 2. Where can you get more? 3. Do you have anything you can sell? Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? A: Only three. The balance are documented case histories. There’s an interesting new novel about two ex-convicts. [...]
Have you seen the current remake of the movie “Cape Fear?” It’s about a deranged psychotic who is seeking revenge against a lawyer. The question is, while watching the movie, for whom do you root?
Jack and Mugs, two second-story men from Flatbush, were comparing notes on recent burglaries. “Didja get anything on that last heist?” Jack asked. “Nuttin’ at all,” Mugs admitted. “Toins out that the guy that lives there’s a lawyer.” “Jeez, ain’t that the breaks,” his friend sympathized. “Didja lose anything?”
A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted. “Darling, it was just a shark,” assured his wife when he came to. “You’ve got to stop imagining that there are lawyers everywhere.”
Two prisoners are talking about their crimes: George: “I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years” Herman: “Hmm. I killed a man, and I’m here for 3 days” George: “*WHAT*??? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days???” Herman: “Yeah, it was a lawyer.”
“You seem to be in some distress,” said the kindly judge to the witness. “Is anything the matter?” “Well, your Honor,” said the witness, “I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects.”
Nugent needed legal advice, so he walked into the office of Gregory, Ellis and Gregory. Nugent sat down at the desk of the senior member of the firm. “If you’re not really in bad trouble, I’ll take the case,” said Gregory. “If you’re in a real jam and want to get out of it, my [...]
Daily Joke Updates Sent To Your Email
(I hate spam, too! I will never share your email address with anyone. Period. Privacy Policy