Daily Joke Blog » Insults Jokes

Send It To The City

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 17:15:52 +0000

A Tax Official has come to a rural synagogue for an inspection. The rabbi is accompanying him. “So rabbi, tell me, please, after you have distributed all your unleavened bread, what do you do with the crumbs?” “Why, we gather them carefully and send them to the city and then they make bread of them again and send it to us.” “Ah. So what about candles after they are burnt? What do you do with the ends?” “We send them to the city as well, and they make new candles from them and send them to us.” “And what about circumcision? What do you do with those leftover pieces?” The rabbi, wearily, replies, “We send them to the city as well.” “To the city!? And what do they send to you?” “Today they have sent you to us.”

Send It To The City is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Shopping

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 14:14:07 +0000

A woman goes to buy a chicken and, after rejecting several, she settles on one and begins to examine it carefully. First, she lifts a wing and smells underneath. Then she lifts the other wing and smells. Then she spreads apart the chicken’s legs and smells again. “Mister,” she says to the butcher, “this chicken is no good. I want to see another one.” The butcher is not amused. “Lady,” he replies, “can you pass a test like that?”

Shopping is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Comeback – You’re So Short

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:45:40 +0000

Q: What is the perfect come back when someone calls you short? A: I might be short but your ugly and I still have time to grow!Comeback – You’re So Short is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Comeback – You’re So Short is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

If I Were as Ugly as You . . .

Tue, 22 Feb 2011 23:55:34 +0000

If my dog was as ugly as you, I would shave his behind and make him walk backwards.If I Were as Ugly as You . . . is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

If I Were as Ugly as You . . . is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

The Police Academy

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 17:03:03 +0000

Three guys, a Polish guy, a Jewish guy and an Italian guy sign up for the police academy. The Jewish guy goes in first and the Captain says to him, “We have to ask you one question before we admit you in to the academy, Who killed Jesus?”

The Jewish guy says “The Romans did it.”

The Captain says, “Right, you’re admitted.”

The Italian guy goes in next. The Captain asks him the same thing. “We have to ask you one question first before you’re admitted to the Police Academy. Who killed Jesus?”

The Italian guy says “The Romans did it.”

The Captain says, “Right, you’re admitted.”

The Polish guy goes in and the Captain repeats the question. The Polish guy says “Gee, I don’t know.” The Captain tells him to go home and think about it for a week and come back and tell him.

The Polish guy goes home and his wife asked him how his first day went at the academy, and he says to her, “You won’t believe it! My first day on the job and they assigned me to a murder case!”

The Police Academy is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Toilet Paper

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 16:59:38 +0000

Whats dumb? Instructions on toilet paper. Whats dumber than that? reading them. Whats even dumber? Reading them and learning something. Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something you’ve been doing wrong. Toilet Paper is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Toilet Paper is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Cheapest Meat

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 19:56:21 +0000

Q. What is the cheapest meat? A. Deer balls, there under a buck.Cheapest Meat is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Cheapest Meat is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Wonder Panties

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 15:32:06 +0000

She must have the new wonder panties because it’s a wonder how she got all that ass in them.Wonder Panties is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Wonder Panties is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

What Not To Say in Kansas

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 16:08:29 +0000

The sheriff of the small Kansas town pulled over a Porsche that was doing 75 miles per hour in a 35-mile an hour zone.

The man behind the wheel, a Chicago commodities trader, was steaming. When he was finally brought before the local magistrate, he exploded, “I can’t believe you stopped me. This town must be the asshole of the world!”

The magistrate looked at him and replied, “And you must be what’s passing through.”

What Not To Say in Kansas is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Monica Lewinsky’s Surgery

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 18:44:31 +0000

Monica Lewinsky went in to a liposuction clinic to have her love handles removed . . . they removed her ears.Monica Lewinsky’s Surgery is a post from: Daily Joke Blog

Monica Lewinsky’s Surgery is a post from: Daily Joke Blog