A Tax Official has come to a rural synagogue for an inspection. The rabbi is accompanying him. “So rabbi, tell me, please, after you have distributed all your unleavened bread, what do you do with the crumbs?” “Why, we gather them carefully and send them to the city and then they make bread of them [...]
A woman goes to buy a chicken and, after rejecting several, she settles on one and begins to examine it carefully. First, she lifts a wing and smells underneath. Then she lifts the other wing and smells. Then she spreads apart the chicken’s legs and smells again. “Mister,” she says to the butcher, “this chicken [...]
Q: What is the perfect come back when someone calls you short? A: I might be short but your ugly and I still have time to grow!
If my dog was as ugly as you, I would shave his behind and make him walk backwards.
Three guys, a Polish guy, a Jewish guy and an Italian guy sign up for the police academy. The Jewish guy goes in first and the Captain says to him, “We have to ask you one question before we admit you in to the academy, Who killed Jesus?” The Jewish guy says “The Romans did [...]
Whats dumb? Instructions on toilet paper. Whats dumber than that? reading them. Whats even dumber? Reading them and learning something. Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something you’ve been doing wrong.
Q. What is the cheapest meat? A. Deer balls, there under a buck.
She must have the new wonder panties because it’s a wonder how she got all that ass in them.
The sheriff of the small Kansas town pulled over a Porsche that was doing 75 miles per hour in a 35-mile an hour zone. The man behind the wheel, a Chicago commodities trader, was steaming. When he was finally brought before the local magistrate, he exploded, “I can’t believe you stopped me. This town must [...]
Monica Lewinsky went in to a liposuction clinic to have her love handles removed . . . they removed her ears.
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