An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “You don’t want to try these techniques at home.” “Why not?” asked somebody from the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years,” the expert explained. “She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single [...]
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. “Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the wife explained. “He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well, and I [...]
Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, Little Johnny’s Father asked how much his last date had cost. Little Johnny calculated a minute then replied, “Oh, about $15 or so I think.” “Well,” said his Father, “I’m proud of you for finally coming up with an inexpensive evening.” “To be honest [...]
A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug’s face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary. “And what day [...]
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?” “It is made [...]
THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female: Any part under a car’s hood. Male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. Male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. Male: Scratching out a note [...]
Girls = time * money time = money, therefore: Girls = money * money (*) But we know that money is a root of all evil, thus: money = sqrt(evil) Taking into account (*), we have: Girls = sqrt(evil)*sqrt(evil) And finally: Girls = |evil| Thus, Girls are the absolute evil!
Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut. Women do NOT want [...]
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You add chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing with everything you say. 5. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that reads, “How’s my driving–call [...]
Jack and Jill were getting married. Jack was talking to his dad about the marriage when his dad says, “I remember when your mom and I got married. I took off my pants, gave them to her, and told her to put them on.” “I can’t wear these,” she said. “Darn right,” he said, “I [...]
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