…can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. …are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. …do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. …do people order double cheeseburgers, [...]
Two Jewish men, “Sid” and “Al,” were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sid asked Al, “Are there any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico?” Al replied, “I don’t know, let’s ask our waiter.” When the waiter came by, Al asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?” and the waiter said, “I don’t [...]
Two vampires wanted to go out to eat, but were having a little trouble deciding where to go. They were tired of the local food in Transylvania and wanted something a little more exotic. After some discussion, they decided to go to ITALY because they had heard that ITALIAN food was really good. So off [...]
An American businessman was in Japan. He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her. She kept screaming “Fujifoo, Fugifoo!!!”, which the guy took to be pleasurable.. The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a hole-in-one. Wanting to impress the clients, he said “Fujifoo”. [...]
The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.” “What is it, child?” The girl said, “Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am.” The priest turned, took a good look [...]
Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who was tap dancing? A: He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink. Q: What’s Irish and sits outside in the summertime? A: Paddy O’Furniture! Q: What are the best ten years of an Irishman’s life? A: Third grade. Q: How do you sink an Irish [...]
Concerning bagpipes: The Irish invented them and gave them to the Scots as a joke, and the Scots haven’t seen the joke yet.
Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O’Reilly wandered by. “Help!” Paddy shouted, “Oi’m sinkin’!” Don’t worry,” assured Mick. “Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi’m the strongest man in Erin, and Oi’ll pull ye right out o’ there.” Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy’s hand and pulled and pulled [...]
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