10. Lower corner of screen has the words “Etch-a-sketch” on it. 9. It’s celebrity spokesman is that “Hey Vern!” guy. 8. In order to start it, you need some jumper cables and a friend’s car. 7. It’s slogan is “Pentium: redefining mathematics”. 6. The “quick reference” manual is 120 pages long. 5. Whenever you turn [...]
What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer? Here are several examples of what he may write to help you resolve your computer problems. If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy [...]
The government’s system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the computer industry, has found a lower cost alternative to address the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by December 31, 1999. In exchange for taking every computer, an Etch-A-Sketch will be issued to all [...]
DOS Beer — Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. [...]
Real software engineers eat quiche. Real software engineers don’t read dumps. They never generate them, and on the rare occasions that they come across them, they are vaguely amused. Real software engineers don’t comment their code. The identifiers are so mnemonic they don’t have to. Real software engineers don’t write applications programs, they implement algorithms. [...]
MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church VATICAN CITY (AP) — In a joint press conference in St. Peter’s Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, [...]
Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every [...]
Computer novices may feel like they’re alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBM’s help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway. After a caller gave a technician her PC’s serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, “I [...]
Don’t you wish when life is bad and things just don’t compute, That all we really had to do was stop and hit reboot? Things would all turn out ok, life could be so sweet If we had those special keys Ctrl, Alt, and Delete Your boss is mad, your bills not paid, your wife, [...]
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