Are you a technical geek? Do you have a problem with overdoing your technical activities? Many do. Take the following test to see if you are compulsive. If you can relate to 2 of the items, you may have a problem with Techno-Dweeb. If you relate to 3 or more, you are definitely a Techno-Dweeb. [...]
Backup – What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods. Bar code – Them’s the fight’n rules down da local tavern. Bug – The reason you is a giv’n for calling in sick. Byte – What yer pit bull dun to cusin Jethro. Cache – Needed when you go to da store. [...]
Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time. Patron: No, it’s still there. Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it [...]
An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano! Memory was something that you lost with age A CD was a bank account! And if you had a broken disk, It would hurt when you found out! Compress was something you did to garbage [...]
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft’s rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged [...]
Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some respect. He’d become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions. Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work [...]
Shift to the left, shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!
Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. AST technical support had a called complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. Another [...]
You kiss your girlfriend’s home page. A VRML virtual walk through a park is your idea of a good date. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8…ISDN…cable [...]
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