Category Archives: Bar Jokes

Would you like to dance fatty?

April 11, 2011 – 6:00 am

A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, “Would you like to dance?” The girl says, “I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you.” The guy says, “I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you sure look fat in those pants.“

By | Tagged bar, dance, reject | Comments (0)

I Nearly Pissed Myself

March 23, 2011 – 7:32 am

Bob is a regular guy and he is out at a local bar one night having a good time. Jack, the bartender and owner of the bar, offered him another drink and as he did Bob spoke up. “Hey Jack, you’re a betting kinda man aren’t ya?” “Maybe Bob, what did ya have in mind.” [...]

By | Tagged bar, bartender, bet, shot glass | Comments (0)

Gay family

March 11, 2011 – 8:55 am

A guy walks into a bar and orders 12 tequilas. The bartender asked, “what’s wrong,” and the guy says that he just found out that his younger son is gay. The bartender says, “he’s sorry about it.” After a couple of days the guy comes back and orders 15 tequilas. The bartender asked, “What’s wrong [...]

By | Tagged bar, bartender, gay, son, tequila, wife | Comments (0)

Crawling back home

March 2, 2011 – 10:05 am

An Irishman was drinking at the pub all night. The bartender came up to him and told him that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand up one more time with the same result. So he figured he’d just crawl outside, [...]

By | Tagged bartender, drinking, irishman, pub, wheelchair | Comments (0)

Depressed

February 17, 2011 – 8:55 am

There’s this guy in a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: “Come on man, I was just joking. [...]

By | Tagged bar, depressed, guy, poison | Comments (0)

Picking up chicks

February 8, 2011 – 11:34 am

A very good looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks into the bar, with no luck. Suddenly a really ugly man, and I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y ugly man walks into the bar. He [...]

By | Tagged bar, drink, eyebrows, man, woman | Comments (0)

A little head

January 27, 2011 – 9:02 am

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can’t help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, “You know, I’m not gay but [...]

By | Tagged bar, bartender, head, hunting, muscular man | Comments (0)

Drunk and Arthritis

January 18, 2011 – 7:59 am

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk’s shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple [...]

By | Tagged arthritis, brewery, bus, drunk, pope, priest | Comments (0)

Drinking Buddies

January 6, 2011 – 12:43 pm

Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says “So where are you from, then?” “I’m from Ireland.” “Me too! I’ll drink to that.” They both finish their pints and order two more. [...]

By | Tagged drunk, ireland, new york, pub, twins | Comments (0)

Dickens and the Martini

December 28, 2010 – 7:14 am

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”

By | Tagged dickens, martini | Comments (0)

Category Archives: Bar Jokes

Would you like to dance fatty?

I Nearly Pissed Myself

Gay family

Crawling back home

Depressed

Picking up chicks

A little head

Drunk and Arthritis

Drinking Buddies

Dickens and the Martini

My Goldfish Died :(

Yo Mamma so stupid

Nuns Confessional

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road – Reviewed

You might be a redneck if 71

News headlines 02

Curing a Cough

Offer legal advice

Send It To The City

Anniversary

Name:
Email: