1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino [...]
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. After about a year [...]
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. “What’s going on?” she yells out the window. “Cow on the track!” replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees [...]
A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting “I don’t give two hoots for your shoes man, I’ll [...]
1. It’s not a laugh to practice barking at 3a.m. 2. It’s wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her. 3. He shouldn’t jump on your bed when he’s sopping wet. 4. The cats have every right to be in the living room. 5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is [...]
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? A: Holes all over Australia. Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale? A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel. Q: Why did the elephant cross the road? A: Chicken’s day off. Q: Why do elephants have [...]
Q: What has four legs and an arm? A: A happy pit bull. Q: Why is a tree like a dog? A: Because they both lose their bark when they die. Q: Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund? A: Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie. Q: [...]
Q: Diner: I can’t eat this chicken. Call the manager. A: Waiter: It’s no use. He can’t eat it either. Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers? A: The outside. Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede? A: A walkie-talkie, of course. Q: Have you heard [...]
Q: Why do hummingbirds hum? A: Because they don’t know the words. Q: Where does a blackbird go for a drink? A: To a crow bar. Q: Why was the crow perched on a telephone wire? A: He was going to make a long-distance caw. Q: What did the chick say when it saw an [...]
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road? A: To get to the Shell station! Q: Why did the chicken scientist cross the road? A: To invent the other side. Q: Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road? A: To corrupt the other side. Q: Why did the chicken IRS representative cross the road? [...]
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