Addicted to the Web

(Sung to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”) Doorbell rings, I’m not list’nin’, From my mouth, drool is glist’nin’, I’m happy — although My boss let me go – Happily addicted to the Web. All night long, I sit clicking, Unaware time is ticking, There’s beard on my cheek, Same clothes for a week, Happily addicted to the Web! Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, “Yo, man! Don’t you know tonight’s the senior prom?” With a listless shrug, I mutter “No, man; I just discovered laugh-a-lot-dot-com!” I don’t phone, don’t send faxes, Don’t go out, don’t pay taxes, Who cares if someday They drag me away? I’m happily addicted to the Web! Happ-ilyyyyy, ad-dict-eeeed to the Weeeeeb!!! (Yeah!)