A collection of insults 9

You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high. In the next life, you’ll blaze a way for us. You are master in your own house — the doghouse! When you die, I’d like to go to your funeral, but I’ll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure. You make me believe in reincarnation. Nobody can be as stupid as you in one lifetime. Believe me, I don’t want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit? I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla. Keep talking. I always yawn when I’m interested. Some day you will find yourself — and wish that you hadn’t. People clap when they see you — their hands over their eyes or ears. Whatever is eating you — must be suffering horribly.